Faith...rise up within me!!!!!!!!

Generally, if someone promises that they will do something we expect them to do it right? We are not surprised by the outcome. We're not taken back by the fact that they follow through. Yet, as God's kids, why is it that we always seem to be surprised by Him? When He heals someone. When He provides the exact amount of money we need to pay a bill. When He confirms to us in His still small voice that we are exactly where He wants us to be...and so on and so on. These are ALL promises He has given us in His word. I look back on my life and see the faithfulness of the Lord and I stand amazed...yet should I? I mean I stand in awe of the Lord because of who He is. That He is a Father who's love will never cease. It cannot cease because His Word says it won't. But should I be amazed that He, too, is true to His word?  In that same sense, His word promises that by His stripes we are healed. That He is Jehovah Jirah my Provider. And that if I seek Him I will find Him when I seek Him with all of my heart. So, if this is truth and this a promise that He has made to us...then why are we surprised when He shows up in our circumstances? We should expect it. Yeah....I'll say it again. We should expect the God of the Universe who created all things to do EVERYTHING that He promises He will do.

I think one of the hardest things for children of God to expect from the Lord is His unfailing, unending, unwavering love.......for us. It's not just a great story that's been told over time. It's not something created for great entertainment. It is a romance that began before we were even formed in our mother's womb. A passionate pursuit of our hearts. An intimacy that cannot compare. Yet, we (myself included) cheat ourselves out of this amazing love relationship with the Father because we don't take Him at His word.

Let faith arise oh God. In the hearts of your kids that you are so crazy about!!!!! Let faith arise in me Jesus. From the depths.....as deep calls out to deep. Help me not to be surprised by you.  

A few of the highlights of my day today:

1. Re-learned how to play a card game called SPEED from a few first and second graders.

2. Played a one-on-one basketball game with an adorable ten year old boy named Stephen. Yeah I only beat him by one point. He kicked some serious butt!! =)

3. Had a blast with about 50 kids from the age of 6 to 11 and will do it all over again the rest of the week!!!

4. Now getting ready to go eat the best frozen custard EVER at Andy's.

So, I have had quite the eventful day!! I'm helping out at a summer camp here in Springfield this week while I search for a job. I forgot how much I love school agers!! I felt like I was hanging out with a bunch of teenagers though! Man are they smart or what?! They can teach me a thing or two that's for sure!!! =)

So, I'm getting a little settled in. I still feel like I'm just visiting, but I'm sure I will until I get all my stuff here. My baby Stella is getting sooooo big. She's absolutely adorable. Now it's just trying to train her that I'm her mama...yeah she doesn't want too much to do with me just quite yet. All is well in my neck 'o the woods. I miss everyone already! Can't wait to see you in a few weeks!!!

jess 

Currently Listening United We Stand By Hillsong United see related

The Winds of Change are Blowin'

Ok, so I promised Suzie that I'd keep up with my xanga so that everyone knows what's going on with me in Missouri. I know I haven't left yet, but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. =)

You know, I am one of those rare people that actually love change. I embrace it actually. And I am very excited about the changes getting ready to take place for me. I know that to many it seems like a sudden move that is birthed out of discouragement. I won't lie and say that that is totally false. I have been discouraged. And to be honest, I have struggled for the last few months, but I just never talked about it. So, the anouncement that I am moving comes as quite a shock to many, and for that I am so sorry. But through these last few months I have looked into the depths of Jess and haven't been very happy with what I've found there. Jesus has had to re-shape me and strip me of myself. He's not completely done with me yet. It's been painful in some ways. It's been liberating in others. I'm coming to terms with who Jesus made me to be and what he created me for, and more importantly, not hiding from it. He has had to truly teach me what being a child of God realy is.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that my heart beats to lead worship. A good friend of mine recently asked me "So, Jess what makes you tick? What are you passionate about? What makes up Jess?" And truthfully I think I skirted around the question, because I really believe that Jesus is still teaching me this. BUT, there is one thing that i could not deny and that is my desire to lead people into worship. It's weird because it's not a desire to be a music pastor and lead a choir. (although those are such amazing roles and big ones to fill.) But for many years, I have known that the Lord has placed something in me and upon me to lead people into His presence. To connect them to the reality of who He is. There with Him. Touching Him. Feeling Him. Knowing He's real. To connect with an intimacy with the Father....this is what makes me tick. I can't deny it. I won't refuse it, and I won't give up on it. This same friend said to me "Jess I pray the God shows you what you're destined for. What defines you." I think I have lost sight of this and thought that it seemed more like a "romantic" idea than a calling...I mean how many people want to lead worship? many. How many people do lead worship? many. It seemed intangible.

Well, Jesus is waking me up inside and reminding me of the promises he's given me. "Why Springfield?" you may ask. Because I can. To be honest, I'm not making a super spiritual decision here. This (Springfield) is where I love to be. It's where I've wanted to be again for the last few years but never had the release. This is where I feel the next chapter in the story of my life is to take place. To grow under the leadership of one of my mentors. To be a little closer to home. To live with one of my closest friends and have fun being single together! =) Because I am in a place in my life where I can. It too, may just be for a season. If the Lord was telling me that I was to stay put right here in Muskogee then my goodness, I wouldn't think twice and I would trust Him just like I did when I moved here in the first place. But there is a peace that has come that just like the Word tells us "passes all understanding." yeah, it's beyond my understanding, as well as many people around me. Sometimes it's not for me to understand, but to just know. Does that make sense?

So, in saying all of this, I pray that many of you have heard my heart. That it sheds a little bit of light on what's going on with me. It's beginning to hit me. The days are flying by, and my time with all the amazing people here that I have come to know and love is shortening. It's a bitter/sweet feeling. God has purposed this last year in my life specifically. Strategically. He has placed people in my life some days, I think, just to keep my head above water. But also to show me what loving Jesus is. To show me what family is about. To remind me that I love ministry and He has called me to it.. fervently. To remind me that God is God and He is still on His throne. 

Ok, I think I've said enough. I covet your prayers. I need the covering of my friends. To know that you are praying for me, even if you don't understand it all. Like I've said, I don't even fully understand it all. I love and cherish each of you.

~jess

Currently Listening Try! John Mayer Trio Live in Concert By John Mayer Trio see related

Constant

The Father....He's constant. The only thing that I can be sure of is this. He never changes. It's hard to wrap my head around this truth sometimes, yet it's what sustains me. He's real. He's God. Even when everything around me seems to spin out of control and I can't make sense of my life and where I'm at or where I'm going.....He's constant.

I'm entering into another very significant season of change in my life. I'm getting ready to move (again) to Springfield, MO. To many this may seem trivial. To me, it's another chapter in this journey that I'm on. I've wrestled with this for a while, but I have recently made the final decision to take this step. To some it may come as a surprise. To others, not so much. To me, it's necessary....in many ways.

So, here I am. Transitioning once again....and in the midst of this changing, holding onto the only thing I know is true. My constant,  unchanging Jesus.